Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Murphy's Law is Just a Huge Conspiracy Against Parenthood...

Let's face it, if you have little kids and are forced to take them to a place that is not set up for them to succeed, the waits will be long and everything that can possibly go wrong will.

Last week, while in the midst of voting, I lost my driver's license.

In case you have been living in a hole since 9/11/01 I will let you know that due to potential threats on our country and really bad problems with identity theft, regular non crimimal, non terrorist, legal citizens are facing ridiculous flaming hoops when procuring the very ordinary piece of plastic that is a Driver's License. Oh yes I had to proove my citizenship, my identity, my legal name change and my social security number... all on separate forms of identification. I also had to proove my current address from two different sources. What a joy.

However, tracking down all this paperwork was not half of the headache, because let me remind you of an itty bitty detail... I have a three year old. Oh yes, I have a three year old who is with me all day because his November birthday makes him too young to start preschool. Now don't get me wrong, I love having my little dude with me. He's my buddy and we have a blast. However, he is a little imp, has zero patience and is extremely loud. In other words, Jack and the DMV go together about as well as drinking and driving. To say going to the DMV with this child was a car accident, was an understatement.

Now the line wasn't insanely long, but Jack was out of control. I am talking in rare form. It was aweful. He was tearing around and screaming his head off. However, what was I supposed to do? I needed a license. I could come back later, but it would be more of the same. So I gritted my teeth and tried my hardest not to turn into psycho mom and I listened to the numbers inch up to our number.

At long last they were helping the lady in front of us and I was gathering up my documentation and preparing to be called next when I heard the announcement, "We apologize but the driver's license system just went down and we have no idea when it will come up. The last time it went down it was down about 2 hours. You are welcome to wait or come back later."

I will admit. I started crying. I did go to the window and checked to make sure my documentation was correct before leaving.

Determined to avoid this scene once again, I arranged for my husband to watch Jack while I tried again. I decided to make this as relaxing as possible and came prepared with Starbucks in hand and smartphone to Facebook.

Wouldn't you know it but I was barely in the door when one of 8 idle clerks called me to their window. I was out in 5 minutes. It is a conspiracy I tell you... a massive conspiracy.

Friday, November 5, 2010

When the Clock Strikes FEAR

So let's talk about Jimmy and his latest obsession... clocks.

A few weeks ago Jimmy came home with a book about a little boy who stayed up all night. Completely ancillary to the story was the extremely minor detail that the background art showed a clock reading a different time on each page. Well for some reason, unable to be understood by neurologically typical people, this sparked and obsession as strong as the great ceiling fan obsession of 2008.

Now no matter where we go if Jimmy sees a clock, even if it is someone's watch or high on a wall, he makes a beeline for it and plays with it until someone intercepts it or he breaks it. In fact, I am quite certain his goal is to break it. The obsession is only for analog clocks, digital is safe. It is so bad that the clinic where he has therapy takes all the clocks off the wall before he comes for his session.

Anyway we are working on this issue. Today I did what I try my hardest to never to do, which is take all three of my children into WalMart. We had to go to pick up a perscription that could not wait and due to timing I did not get there before the school day is over. Now when we go to Walmart I try to get the cart with the bench on the front so everone has a seat. Today they wer e left out in the rain and I had to use a regular cart. Cristin was fuflilling her daily quota of 5 year old drama regarding not want to walk so I let Jimmy walk. Note I avoid at all costs having Jimmy walk, even though he usually can be trusted.

So imagine this picture: I have the younger 2 in the cart and Jimmy is standing on that little bar under the handle, leaning against me so he doesn't fall, and I am pushing all 3. Now it is all going well until we approach the pharmacy, when out of my periphrial vision I discover where the clock aisle has be RELOCATED! A sense of dread washed through my entire body and my heart started to race as I imagined the catastrophe that would unfold if Jimmy saw it. There were dozens of clocks of all shapes and sizes. I reached deep down and tried to calm myself as I determined the only way to avoid certain disaster would be to act like I saw nothing and keep course.

Thanks be to God he didn't see them... Crisis averted for today.

Oh and Polly this story was for you.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Sorry I Dropped the Ball

We have been having some technical difficulties so I haven't been keeping up. I hope to be posting more regularly now.

The biggest news is that Jimmy is passing on grade level all disciplines other than Writing, Art and Music. He even got a B in PE. Oh my word! We are loads excited.

I also learned at the beginning of school that Cristin could read. I keep getting acolades from everyone on this super fantastic job I have been doing with her and I keep thinking to myself, "should I let them in on the reality that I was an enormous slacker and that she taught herself?"

Jack now has an official diagnosis of Verbal Apraxia. I am cool with it because Verbal Apraxia is fixable with therapy and is not a permenant problem. I am also thrilled that we know what it is.

Things are crazier than ever around here. It is a good sort of crazy in that I can manage it. Jack is now 3 and he is getting so big.

Will have more to say later.